This is to be the day. I announce this to myself as I peal the covers off, and expose my naked body to the furniture. Today is the day that I finally fulfill the promise of college and get a job. Lord knows I need it. I shower and dress myself to the nines (why isn’t it tens?). I give myself a look in the mirror, and I know this job is mine. Out the door, I walk to catch the train. Right on time (this is my lucky day). I sit in the only open seat and look at what’s in front of me. A beautiful woman and she is looking at me (what a day). I return the look briefly, but disengage before it gets awkward (play it cool ladies man). After a few moments, I glance back, and she is still looking my way. But quickly she averts her eyes. Was she staring at my crotch? Yes I think she was (I am on fire). I continue to look her way for a moment, but her eyes do not return, only a wry smile on her lips gives her away (you dirty, dirty girl). It’s my stop and I exit without a word. I will see her again, on the train after I get this job. 27th floor. “Meeting with Mr. Johnson” I smile at the secretary. I nail it. 1st floor. I walk outside to exclaim to the world that this job is MINE. I reach my arms over my head and breath deeply as I prepare to shout. When suddenly, a cool breeze strikes my left testicle like a dart. My lungs deflate, as I turn my gaze to the gaping hole, where my zipped zipper should be.
